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Acai Express

Tuesday 24 July, 2018
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Açaí Express- Cocoa Beach-- 3-Stars

After having struck out horribly while dining in the local Hilton's establishments, I was discouraged and still in the hunt for some edible delectables here in the land of NASA, Capt. Nelson and his beloved Jeannie when I stumbled upon Acai Express on Orlando Avenue in Cocoa Beach.

With the Acai fad exploding all over the US and the world, it's a bit hard not to run into one these days. From the outside it looked like a yogurt and/or one of those health nut, I mean health food joints, however; I was hungry, I had never tried one before, they had a fair-sized crowd (always a good sign) and it looked clean so I shrugged off any apprehensions I may have harbored and stepped inside. Once I did so, I immediately felt like a bastard at a family reunion as I was clearly in a "hipster" joint. I'm not saying every guy in there had a man-bun and a beard, but if someone told me they were reshooting Kurosawa's masterpiece "Seven Samurai" nearby I would have nodded, "of course they are". I stepped to the counter and told the server that it was my first time here and I wasn't sure what to order. She welcomed me with a vacant stare and explained how the menu board worked all the while I was half expecting her to give me a participation certificate for approaching the counter and speaking. Upon further examination of said menu board, I ordered their Mega Bowl which consists of all the hipster buzzword foods of the day: Acai, coconut oil, granola, banana and all the fruits. It was blended with craft and actually quite enjoyable on the palate. Big Boy says, "If you're not afraid of hipsters and can stand the site of a man-bun, head on into Acai Express for some good anti-oxidant smoothies, you won't be disappointed, unless, of course, you are sporting a man-bun then I am sure you will find something to be negative about. 3 stars." P.S. I am still awaiting my participation certificate to arrive in the mail.