Sunday 20 June, 2021

Hey readers! I have to say that the comments and likes on social media I have been getting since I have restarted my quest to give every eating establishment in the area a non-biased, no holds barred review based solely on ingredients and execution makes me glad to be back and of service to the general public! If one of my reviews gets you to try a new dig or avoid a pitfall and save some money...I'm good.

With that in mind, I headed once more to the north a bit and hit up Three Natives in Satellite Beach, FL. I know what you're thinking. Egads, Big Boy a "health" food franchise? Did you bump your head repeatedly during quarantine? No, I did not. I know other people, and based on the number of like-type establishments, a large number of people prefer to eat at places like this. I feel obligated to include them in my unprejudiced reviews, I mean, what else am I going to dine on once all the cows are gone?

This location is in the Publix Shopping Plaza and we were immediately met by a super cool, prompt server by the name of Kevin. This was the first warning bell to go off in my head. In my experience, eating my way across FL and the Eastern Seaboard, I have found that this kind of server (prompt and in a good mood) foreshadowed a dire dining experience, as for the most part, the best restaurants have the servers with the most attitude. Some even put on "airs" to seemingly look down their nose at us lowly carbon-based life forms. You want to eat here!!!

I placed an order for one Tuna Salad Wrap and one Strawnana Smoothie. It wasn't long before Kevin gleefully returned with the order sans the sounds of a blender emanating from anywhere in the restaurant. Finding this just a tad bit concerting as Kevin assured me my smoothie was freshly made I dug into the Tuna Wrap.

As one can see by the photos, it was a veritable color palate of freshness and looked scrumptious. However, it was not mixed with enough, what I assume would be, vegan mayo to moisten it beyond the point of not sticking to the roof of my mouth. I am not a big tuna salad connoisseur, but I know it shouldn't stick to the roof of your mouth. The Smoothie had the unmistakable look of the bottle of Pepto Bismol my Grandma kept in the fridge door and the same exciting flavor...

This made me ponder on whether or not anyone actually taste-tested this crap before opening a miserable little franchise such as Three Natives? I would be surprised if they make it a year.

The Big Boy says, "If you are in the mood for some healthy grub, you would be better off eating some sea oats from the local beach than anything at this location." #iamthebigboy #bigboydiningout