Alamo Mexican Kitchen Restaurant

Friday 24 August, 2018

Alamo Mexican Kitchen - Rockledge - 1 Star


Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Once upon a time in a decade long ago there stood two great Mexican restaurants in Brevard County: Tippy's Taco House and The Alamo. Tippy's has been closed a few years. Their quality never suffered; the owners just retired and no one carried on their torch. Sadly, the remaining grand dame of this cuisine from that era is now on shaky decrepit legs and needs to be put out to pasture.

For those of you new to the area or my followers who have not been here recently, my meal was so bad I would leave a soup kitchen hungry before I ate this swill. The single and sole bright spot in the dingy dump was Teren, the drink runner. This kid had personality a mile wide and is sadly out of place here. He could make some serious cash at a nicer restaurant if he chose to look elsewhere. When I initially walked in, the hostess and another woman were grousing about the laziness of my server, Debbie. It's always chilling to overhear conversations like these because it makes you brace. While Teren was prompt and on the spot, it took Debbie 18 minutes. You heard me right - 18 minutes for her to shuffle her rotund self to our table to take the order. My agitation had mildly subsided only because I was into my second scotch. As she walked, dripping with sweat, appearing to overtax her heart, she huffed, "what can I get you?" I ordered fish tacos and a Primo Burrito.

If you look at the pictures of the tacos, you will see a raw tortilla with unripe avocado slices, so much so that I could not bite through them. Then you will see raw cabbage placed under the unripe avocado. Under the cabbage, a frozen and reheated flavorless tilapia chunk awaits you. Look at the rice closely, as well as the beans, and you see the plate was in the salamander too long. The rice was actually tooth-chippingly crunchy. I cut into the Primo Burrito and a layer of uncooked sludge seeped out onto the plate.

At this point, I tried to get Debbie's attention, but she hobbled into the kitchen and never returned. At the 50-minute mark I left with all of the food uneaten. I placed $30.00 on the table and left. To my surprise, the hostess came running out saying I had not paid the full amount. I replied, "I paid more than I should have," and then told her that she was right about the server, that she was indeed terrible. However, the hostess misconstrued my statement and thought I said she was terrible, which clearly was not the case.

At any rate, I am placing a swill alert on this restaurant and strongly advise you stay away. #bigboydiningout