Bugnutty Brewing Company

Saturday 12 January, 2019

Bugnutty Brewing - Merritt Island - 1.0-Star

"Make a customer, not a sale."-Barchetti

This is my 325th restaurant visited since October 2017. While the food at Bugnutty Brewing is not Swill, and the atmosphere is above average, what this restaurant lacks is an owner who cares and service staff who can conform their behavior at least to the absolute lowest passable standards of quality available.

Last month we gave the BBDO awards for best server. All of the people who made the list were appreciative. What I did not do is want to re-hash all of the bad service I have encountered and continue to embarrass people who may have had an off day or just were not possessed of the even the smallest intellect to perform this sometimes difficult task of waiter or waitress.

Which brings me to Matthew, our bartender/server at Bugnutty. Matthew is possessed of above average intelligence because I could hear him confidently engage the owner in witty back-and-forth banter as he expertly ignored all 3 customers and me on this football Sunday with big screen televisions. Once he decided to pull himself away from the owner he did not move, he just stood up 10 feet away and yelled across the bar for our order. No "welcome," "do you have any questions," or "are you interested in food?" came from his mouth. I could feel my eyelids flutter as I was trying to mentally process what was going on. So, I asked him who the guy is at the end of the bar, to which he responded that he was the owner. Like hitting the jackpot at a Las Vegas slot machine, it all became obvious: the owner could care less about what was going on around him. Customers be damned, I am going to talk to the bartender and set a horrendous example of unadulterated laziness. Normally, I would say something in an attempt to get to the bottom of the service issues but the owner was obviously intoxicated and being belligerent.

I screamed across the bar over the blaring music and television sets if I could see the beer list and a food menu. The hilarious part was AFTER I said that, the other two customers made the same requests. This made me wonder how long these two guys had been sitting there intimidated by lazy Matt and the drunk owner.

From where we were sitting you could see directly into the storeroom. I observed multiple fermentation tanks and 50-plus bags of hops and barley. My spirits started to rise. I ordered a flight of six beers. I could give you the list of all of them and their note levels, but it is retrospectively unnecessary because they all tasted the same and all had a metal/tin aftertaste. There is apparently zero regulation of home-brew restaurants because this was the most foul tasting beer I have ever consumed.

Moving on to the food, the menu is dominated by sandwich entrees and chicken wings. Also, sitting lonely atop the limited selections, was hummus. Being of middle eastern descent, my interest piqued when Matt belabored the point that it is even made by the owner's wife. Hmmmmm, okay. I ordered one of the many sandwich offerings and was told the equipment was broken, effectively eliminating half or more of their menu options. I asked how long the equipment had been broken and got a shoulder shrug. Plan B then - hummus and chicken wings it is, garlic style. The alleged hummus was not, in fact, hummus at all. There was no tahini in it nor was there any lemon or garlic. I could not discern what, in fact, I actually consumed. Riding a fast train to a Swill Alert, the owner got up to bake our chicken wings. Yes, BAKE them. They arrived slathered in garlic sauce that was actually not bad, thus barely saving them from a Swill Alert. Still, the rest of this dump is horrid.

The Big Boy says, avoid Bugnutty at all costs. It's horrifically unpleasant, and they don't seem to care.

#BigBoyDiningOut #IAmTheBigBoy