Da Kine Diego’s Insane Burritos

Sunday 21 October, 2018

Da Kine Diego's - Satellite Beach - 0.5 Stars

"Swill Alert"

Whoever said you can't fool all of the people all of the time have never waited 20 minutes in a line with 50 junior and high school students clamoring for the low grade, extremely low quality swill being served at this testament to food inspectors' existence. Not only do you have to wait to eat this slop, but there also is no one in the kitchen prep area over the age of 17, which by itself should give you pause.

If you look closely at my kitchen photograph, which I had to take surreptitiously, shows the extent of the filth of this unrefrigerated work area, which can become a cesspool filled with evil bacteria just waiting to take you out.

Da Kine has been here for many years and they are always busy. Why? The answer is beyond me. What I can tell you is the ingredients being used in this establishment seem to be institutional grade at best. It's amazing more people who eat here aren't all sick with food poisoning.

I ordered the Insane Chicken Burrito loaded with everything and an order of Tacos Libre (one chicken, one pork). I'm not sure if it was the rubber chicken and elastic pork or whether it was the stale iceberg lettuce, the pre-shredded, low-quality cheese, or the limp raw flour tortilla, but this panoply of repellent, repulsive excuse for a meal was too much for me. Then I punctured the burrito and a wet slimy ooze came out. I steeled my nerves and went to smell it. The nauseating odor that wafted out sealed the deal and I dumped the entire thing in the garbage and left extremely pissed off (it was so bad, it makes me cuss for the first time in a review).

The Big Boy says, the only Insane thing about Da Kine Diego's is that you must be Insane if you or your family eat here. I'm confidently putting a Swill Alert on this pigsty. Big Boy says go somewhere else - anywhere else - for your meal plans.