Good Thymes Country Cafe

Saturday 23 March, 2019

Good Thymes Country Cafe-Titusville-1-Star

"The worst food you'll ever eat will probably be prepared by a "cook" who calls himself a "chef." Mark my words." -- Alton Brown

While I never take looks into consideration when reviewing a restaurant, I would feel remiss if I didn't mention how dingy this building was on the outside and inside. The outside is painted in a drab gray with a baby puke green trim. Using the restroom before being seated to wash up as is my wont, I was disgusted to the point of almost calling it a day and just walking out then and there. This was, by far, one of the most horrid bathrooms I have ever been in. There was literally two inches of slimy residue caked along the walls and sink. Afraid to touch anything, I used my elbows to move the spigot in order to wash my hands and get a paper towel out of the dispenser. My inner voice was screaming, "Run!" However, on a whimsy, I decided to walk boldly into the fray. After all, I did have a job to do and if it turns out I have to take yet another one for the team, then so be it.

I was greeted warmly enough, shown to a table and handed a menu. The seating area was to clean what the bathroom was to filthy. It was sparkling, tidy and well lit. This was a stark contrast to my first impression from using the washroom. It wasn't before too long that a female approached my table, introduced herself as Joy and asked if we were ready to order. I was and so asked Joy for some Unsweetened tea and one of their daily specials, the Chopped Sirloin Dinner (medium rare) with a side of collard greens and black-eyed peas.

Joy soon reappeared with my order. By soon, I mean it wasn't all that long, I in no way meant she was moving quickly as it appeared she was trudging through quicksand. She was competent enough, professional enough and pleasant enough just slower than trying to connect to the internet on dial-up. Placing my victuals in front of me and asking if I needed anything else, Joy meandered off. Trying to get the image of the bathroom walls out of my mind, I turned my attention to my meal.

First of all, I must say again that I did order my Chopped Sirloin medium rare as steak any other way is a tragedy and is to be avoided at all cost, however, mine was not cooked to order but made to a perfect medium-well. Who orders their beef like this?? It came slathered in a mushroom gravy that was obviously the industrialized version of said gravy. The mushrooms were mushy, looked machine cut and didn't taste fresh at all. The gravy, while smooth and uniform of color, tasted as only canned gravy does. The accompanying side of Collard Greens was none the better. They tasted like they were left over from dinner a few days ago and were obviously microwaved. The second side of Black eyed peas I found delightfully seasoned and cooked to perfection, but alas, also out of a can. I don't know if it was the cooks' fault or the poor quality ingredients they had to work with, whatever the reason(s) this was just an atrocious meal.

However, it was just edible and as such does not warrant a BBDO "Swill Alert" (close, but no cigar).

The Big Boy says, "If you just escaped captivity and haven't had a meal in a few days, by all means, this will suffice, otherwise, don't even think about stopping here." #iamthebigboy #bigboydiningout