MASA Taqueria Y Cantina

Saturday 13 October, 2018

Masa Taqueria Y Cantina - Melbourne Beachside - 0.5 Star

They say the third time is the charm. However, as it applies to the two guys that own Bunky's, Charlie and Jake's, and Masa should step back and ask themselves how does one start off with a great restaurant (Bunky's), then make a mediocre restaurant (Charlie and Jake's), and now make a restaurant so disgusting it is a baby step away from a Swill Alert to fill out your trifecta? Yes, Masa is that bad. The Big Boy receives food-related messages daily from followers. Never have I had such a large negative response for one restaurant. Day after day my inbox was flooded with messages deriding the food here. I decided to give them 90 days to work out the kinks before I reviewed it myself. I guess I should have given them a year, and maybe that wouldn't have been enough.

Like the other two restaurants, the inside is welcoming and friendly, all done with high end materials - truly spectacular. In fact, if you were going to design a restaurant I can't think of a cooler environment than these three restaurants. Please read the reviews of the other two at

Our server, Linda from Wiscaaaansin, was pleasant but ineffective. For starters, she handed me a menu covered in rotting food. (See the photo) I ordered the Barbacoa Taco with shredded pork and the Mole' Chicken. My friend wanted chips. I asked Linda if the chips were made on premises, but she said they were not, so we ended up passing on the chips.

When the food arrived, I knew the moment I saw it there were problems. It looks like our good friends at Sysco provided the rubber chicken. I refused to eat the literally processed chicken. How cheap and underhanded do you have to be to serve this kind of chicken? The mole' sauce was not mole', it had a weird taste like sour cream that has gone bad. The sauces were unidentifiable and Linda had no clue what they were either. I sent the chicken back. I turned next to the taco, including Barbacoa, which is a form of cooking meat that originated in the Caribbean with the TaĆ­no people and from which the term "barbecue" derives. I am not sure how this style of cooking applies to what I was served but as I bit into the pork, it not only was not slow cooked over several hours, but it also was elastic, like chewing a sandwich bag. To add insult to injury, there was zero flavor. I mean ZERO!!!!!

On top of all of the horrendously terrible food, we had to wait 29 agonizingly long minutes to receive this putrid waste that is more suited for a landfill.

The Big Boy says, another no. A big nope. A huge nope. STAY AWAY from this sorry excuse of a restaurant!!!!! #Iamthebigboy #bigboydiningout