Pat’s Place

Saturday 05 May, 2018

Pat's Place - Melbourne Beachside - 1 Star.
Fraud by any other name is.......well......fraud. There is no reason to engage in disingenuous behavior when you can only fool some of the people all of the time. I stopped here to get some "authentic" Greek food. I truly love Greek food. In fact there are two real Greeks within 2 miles of Pat's. Sadly, this Pat is named Patricia or who even knows because the fetid stench of her lies is layered so deep, I think she may have even lied about that.
I asked about the gyro. She said it was fresh cut. I said if so, where is the spit? She replied, well the health department frowns on them, so she cuts it in the back to order. I immediately felt red flags in my stomach but I figured hey, it will be blatantly obvious if she is lying. She went on and on about how fresh her food is. I decided to add an order of "home cooked" Spanakopita.
When the food arrived I tasted the spanakopita. It was flaccid, refrigerator burned spinach that tasted so bad I had to spit it out. It seemed like it had been sitting in the fridge for weeks and I was the fly finally caught in the spider's web.
Now, for the big moment. I bit into the gyro and knew Pat was a liar. You can see from the attached photo, this gyro meat is the frozen pre-cut slices sold by Sysco and Cheney Brothers. To my surprise, when confronted with the discrepancy, Pat began a tale I have heard from many a sociopath. Ohhhhh I am not lying, it's you who is mistaken. This was a low rent version of the cook up the street who tried to convince me a sirloin breakfast steak was filet. The difference is, instead of threatening to kill me, "Pat" took the manipulative approach.
Far be it from me, I went to two different Greek restaurants and showed them the photo. At the first restaurant the owner chuckled when I showed him the photo. He said that's frozen strips of gyro. He asked where I got it. I refused to tell him. The same line ended the same at the second restaurant, except that there was an owner of a third restaurant who also confirmed the pre-frozen, pre-sliced nature of the gyro. So the Big Boy says avoid the lying liar at Pats and go to an authentic Greek restaurant if you want real gyro because the food here in my humble opinion is disgusting.