Vittorios Pizzeria & Restaurant

Thursday 25 October, 2018

Vittorios Pizzeria- Vero Beach & Sebastian- 0 Stars


"There's a fly in my swill." --Johnny Hart, B.C.

My odyssey to review every restaurant within the Space Coast's Tri-County area continues in Vero Beach, FL. Turning to my trustworthy random restaurant generator, just as luck would have it, Vittorio's Pizza and Restaurant came up. It was fortunate as I can always go for some foodstuffs from the Old Country. Sitting in a prime anchor position next to an H & R Block in the Publix Shopping Center is where you will find this Vittorio's. They are a small chain with another location off of Hwy. 1 in Vero Beach and one other store in Sebastian.

When I entered, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as it was high noon and there was one table occupied. Gritting my teeth and optimistically thinking maybe I am just a tad early for the lunch rush I asked to be seated. We were soon approached by an extremely pleasant female who introduced herself as Sarah and asked if we were ready to order. Having had ample time to glance over their generic Italian-American menu, I requested their house Lasagna including a house salad and garlic knots and a meatball parmigiana sub.

Waiting for our food and glancing at my watch I noticed the sun was now 15 minutes past its zenith and still no lunch rush (the sinking feeling in my stomach now turned to a pit of dread). Sarah returned anon with our victuals and we commenced to dine. At least we attempted to dine. The Lasagna had to be the most disgusting slop I have ever had the misfortune to taste. It was over-cooked and made with obviously cheap ingredients as it lacked any and all flavor. It was like cardboard, only not as good. The accompanying side salad, not to be outdone by the main course consisted of "El Cheapo" lettuce, aka Iceberg with a few jarred banana pepper rings, a few slices of onion and a cherry tomato thrown haphazardly on top along with a side of (I kid you not, see photo) Ken's dressing! How expensive are olive oil and balsamic vinegar? The garlic knots, while obviously reheated in the microwave were not too chewy and were, in fact, surprisingly passable. As for the Meatball Parmigiana Sub? At least the bread was toasted properly if average in taste and quality. The meatballs were of the frozen variety, a bit beyond their prime and as such were gross (processed meat sucks). If only there was actually a fly in this swill as it would be a step up from the garbage they currently sling about. Needless to say, the meal was left unfinished, and here I thought only Brevard had revolting Italian eateries. Chalk one up for Indian River!

The Big Boy says, "Not even if you're starving." #iamthebigboy #bigboydiningout